Soundscape #41: "God Doesn't Want Me To Write, But I...I Must" — Franz Kafka

Franz Kafka, 1883—1924. New Jewish Cemetery,
Stranice, Prague. May 2007.

It is said that when Thomas Mann lent his friend, Albert Einstein, a copy of Kafka's works, it was returned to him with the following remarks "I cannot read this; the human mind is not complicated enough." Albert Camus phrased it in another way: "The whole of Kafka's art consists in compelling the reader to re-read him." Indeed there are so many levels at which one can read Kafka. You can read The Trial as an absurdist satire on the workings of law or you can read The Castle as a portrayal of the inefficacy of the beaurocracy. But no matter how hard you try to stay to the reading you've chosen, it would never stick; Kafka has a way of steering you through unchartered waters. As a friend puts it, his stories lead you into a labyrinth which then peters out and becomes indistinguishable from the real world, which of course is understandably disturbing.

But the beauty of Kafka, to me at least, is precisely because he unsettles you. Through his stories, you realise that not all roads should or have to lead to a destination; not all goals can be fulfilled and therein the beauty lies: for what will we do after we get what we want? It is the struggle that is the most important, even if, no, especially if, it's futile. There is hope only in an unfulfilled goal.

I went to Kafka's grave by myself in Prague and even though I had previously arranged for someone to bring me there, the deal fell through. So I asked for directions, found the station, figured out how to work the tickets and where the right platform is, I arrived at Zelivskeho only to find the station dead quiet with hardly anyone around. And stupid me realised at this point that my rubbish guidebook did not have the area mapped out at all. Noone I asked knew the slightest English. After half an hour, I decided to fuck it and walked right out of the exit (there were 3, I just picked the one in front of me with the most light flooding into the station). It was hot and bright and I asked the guy who was selling flowers where the cemetery is and it was just next to him (hence the flowers, duh). And the nice old man at the cemetery told me where to find Kafka's grave.

I think I must have sat at his grave for at least 2 hours; just sitting there and drinking hot tea (I brought a thermos!) and eating day-old bagel and a muffin. and smoking. copiously. Just sitting there and not thinking about anything. Just sitting there and listening to Beirut (and later bright eyes) and writing and smoking and sitting. I was getting eaten up by mosquitoes but still I sat there until I had to leave, and it's only because I realised I can't sit there forever, even if I had wanted to. And I was glad that the arrangement for someone to bring me here fell through cos there was no way I could have stayed there for 2 hours. And I've never been more glad to be alone.

One of the main reasons for my going to Prague was to visit Kafka's grave and just say hi. It was on my top 10 things to do before I die. Now that I've done it, whatever will I do next?



Playlist:
1. (0:00) Portishead - Mysterons (Dummy)
2. (5:05) Joanna Newsom - Colleen (Joanna Newsom And The Ys Street Band EP)
3. (11:47) Beirut - Mount Wroclai (Idle Days) (Gulag Orkestar)
4. (15:01) Elliott Smith - Bled White (XO)
5. (18:19) Jenny Lewis And The Watson Twins - Rise Up With Fists! (Rabbit Fur Coat)
6. (21:57) The National - Abel (Alligator)
7. (25:36) The Arcade Fire - The Well And The Lighthouse (Neon Bible)
8. (29:36) Iron And Wine/Calexico - He Lays In The Reins (In The Reins)
9. (33:16) Teenage Fanclub - Mellow Doubt (Grand Prix)
10. (36:04) The Cinematic Orchestra - To Build A Home (Ma Fleur)
11. (42:12) The Clientele - Isn't Life Strange (God Save The Clientele)
12. (46:00) Wheat - Be Brave (Hope And Adams)
13. (50:16) Mogwai - I Chose Horses (Mr Beast)