Soundscape #25: For I Have Sworn Thee Fair And Thought Thee Bright, Who Art As Black As Hell, As Dark As Night
Roy Lichtenstein. Hopeless, 1964.
We've all been there. The shock, the disbelief, the heartaches, the sleepless nights, the non-existent appetites, and oh, the things we'd do! It's as if we become a different person when our hearts get broken. We'd lock ourselves in the room, stare at the walls and listen to sad bastard music. Or we'd conjure up countless scenarios where s/he'd beg you to come back (and we'd say no, obviously). We'd do stupid things like hanging around the person's workplace and then running like hell cos s/he might see us. We'd never listen to our friends who try to be there with advice and encouragement. We'd pretend that we are strong enough to handle anything. We'd swing from one extreme emotion to the next, feeling more and more tired with everything.
But after the denial must come the pain. The tears, the very real physical pain in your chest when you wake up, the listlessness. Then the anger. The fault-picking, the incredulity that you've been with someone who's that flawed. You'd rant at anyone who'd listen, each tirade fiercer than the last but ultimately, like a light that's come on, you realise that you are only angry with yourself for being so stupid and so blind. The moment you realise that is the moment the world—that you thought had already come down—comes crashing down.
What trivalises the whole business of heartache is that everytime you survive through one, you'd tell yourself that you will never make the same mistakes again. But of cos, the heart has a memory made of sieve, and we'd do the same thing over and over again. We'd never learn and we'd never remember.
Maybe we don't want to.
Playlist:
1. (0:00) Suede - The Wild Ones (Buy Dog Man Star)
2. (4:40) The Streets - Dry Your Eyes **
3. (9:10) Feist - Let It Die (Buy Let It Die)
4. (12:04) Stars - Calendar Girl (Buy Set Yourself On Fire)
5. (16:12) The Delgados - All You Need Is Hate (Buy Hate)
6. (19:08) Dandy Warhols - We Used To Be Friends (Buy Welcome To The Monkey House)
7. (22:29) The Radio Dept. - I Don't Need Love, I've Got My Band (Buy Pulling Our Weight EP)
8. (25:44) Yo La Tengo - You Can Have It All (Buy And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out)
9. (30:19) Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart (Buy Substance)
10. (33:45) Morrissey (without The Smiths in this track)- My Love Life (Live at KROQ)
11. (38:01) Damien Rice - 9 Crimes (Buy 9)
12. (41:39) DeVotchKa - How It Ends (Buy Little Miss Sunshine OST)
* I had wanted to add Nine Inch Nails' Hurt into the playlist but couldn't decide between the original or the Johnny Cash cover. Which do you prefer?
Nine Inch Nails - Hurt
Johnny Cash - Hurt**if you know who the guest vocal is on this track, email me and I will either burn you a cd or upload a zip file of this soundscape for you. Hint: he's played in Singapore.
Wow that was quick. Congrats, Kob, it is indeed Mr Gywneth Paltrow!
Labels: indie, soundscapes project, writing
posted by soundscrobbler at 8:31 AM
4 Comments:
Shades of Sounscapes #12 Nov 10, 2006? Perhaps you should lock yourself in a dark room, put on the Doors, "The End" and get it out of your system. Worst case scenario, you could turn into a beetle :) Seriously though, your bile is venomous ths time. Chin up mighty one, life sucks but sisyphus is still climbing.
Been listening a lot to Joy Division lately, listening to your sounscapes made me rush back to all the old tracks. Thought you should hear this line from No Love Lost, "You've been seeing things in darkness, not in knowing... Hoping that the truth will pass..."
And this whisper from the grave from Dead Souls,
"Someone take these dreams away, That point me to another day
A duel of personalities
That stretch all true reality
That keep calling me - they keep calling me..."
Unable to break from the hurt? I guess no one can. Not even Ian Curtis, the eternal saint of all that is broken, the pained poet, lord of the fading dawn who though departed left these lines for eternity,
"We would go on as though nothing was wrong,
And hide from these days - we remained all alone
Staying in the same place, staying out the time"
Live strong mighty one.
Perfect for Valentine's. I call Johnny Cash for his voice.
Johnny's version of Hurt came to mind when I was reading your blog...yes...his version sounds it out perfectly because it's so personal for him. The MTV directed by Mark Romanek takes it to another painful level. Watch it on...www.johnnycash.com
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