Soundscape #19: "I'm Leaning On This Broken Fence Between Past And Present Tense"

Hughes Leglise-Bataille. Station Balard, 2006

I think time only passes quicker when one gets older. I never once thought about the passing of time when I was younger; it always just seemed to be hanging in the shadows and tomorrow always seemed so far away. I became more aware of time's passing when I was in university trying to juggle reading 25 books in one semester and working at the same time. All of a sudden, 3 years of what I thought was hell flew past and the pressure to look for a job—and hang on to it—intensified and that's when hell really began.

Sometimes it's a case of "I don't wanna grow up" (if the Toys 'R Us jingle came to you immediately, face it, you're old too) and other times it's just being grateful for all the experiences and the lessons I've learnt. But even as I'm typing this at home chilling out and just basically slacking around, I find it hard to stay in the moment. I either dwell on the past and what I haven't done or whatever, or think about what's going to happen tomorrow or the day after or the coming year. I think that's a big difference between the insouciant school-going years I spent playing around always in the moment and now, when everything needs to be done yesterday and I spend so much time on something I don't believe in or even care for: my mind is split between work and everything else.

So come next year, I really want to appreciate and be aware of time and its passing. I think when you are physically in one moment and your mind is somewhere else, that's when time really slips through your fingers. Therefore, if I'm going to slack, I want to be aware that I'm slacking. If I'm eating, I want to concentrate on chewing up my food and not having to read some stupid fuck report at the same time. I just want to be in the moment, whatever it may be.

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Playlist:
1. (0:00) Jason Collett - These Are The Days (Buy Idols Of Exile)
2. (2:54) The White Stripes - I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself (Buy Elephant)
3. (5:40) The Weakerthans - Aside (Buy Left And Leaving)
4. (9:04) Scotland Yard Gospel Choir - Then And Not A Moment Before (Buy Jennie That Cries EP)
5. (12:34) New Order - Regret (Buy The Best Of)
6. (16:44) Rogue Wave - Every Moment (Buy Out Of The Shadow)
7. (19:00) Foo Fighters - Times Like These (Buy One By One)
8. (23:24) Spoon - Something To Look Forward To (Buy Kill The Moonlight)
9. (25:43) Ok Go - This Will Be Our Year (Buy Future Soundtrack Of America)
10. (27:48) M. Ward - Poison Cup (Buy Post-War)
11. (30:40) The Velvet Underground - All Tomorrow's Parties (Buy The Velvet Underground & Nico)