Friday, June 29, 2007

Soundscape #42: "Tell Me You Feel This Fire"


Hughes Leglise. Part Of L'autre Passerelle, November 2006.

Why do we meet the people we meet? How much of it is design and how much is chance? For most of us, the most common places we meet new people is either school or work, no? You would probably start smiling at the uncle at the coffeeshop you frequent but that's still considered your comfort zone. In fact, as we get older, we'd practically go out of our way to not make any eye contact with strangers at all. We block out the external world with our earphones and sunglasses and we walk from Point A to B without seeing anything in between.

But for some reason, I let this wall down the other day and asked a backpacker if he needed help with directions as he looked mighty lost. I made a new friend and became the tour guide (people who know me will seriously laugh at this) for 2 days. And just like that, a connection is made and even as it's so new and fragile, it felt like something worth preserving somehow. In a big soul-less city—where people are self-absorbed, indifferent and disconnected from one another—a connection between 2 strangers is hard to come by. It feels a bit weird when you realise that when we were younger, we thought that connections would be many and easy to come by but as we get older we realise that we only get a few shots at it in life.

To me, these connections among strangers transcend language and all other superficial barriers. Yes, it'd probably be ideal if we understand what the other party is saying but I'm speaking of the moments where you are so comfortable sitting in silence with the person and you know he/she is feeling the same way.

And even, even if I'm imagining this whole thing up, I think I will have someone to show me around in France next year :D



Playlist:
1. (0:00) Norah Jones - Don't Know Why (Come Away With Me)
2. (3:04) Athlete - Chances (Tourist)
3. (7:55) Tegan & Sara - You Wouldn't Like Me (So Jealous)
4. (10:51) Bright Eyes - First Day Of My Life (I'm Wide Awake It's Morning)
5. (13:54) Gene - Your Love, It Lies (Olympian)
6. (17:12) Margot And The Nuclear So And Sos - Talking In Code (The Dust Of Retreat)
7. (20:57) Bloc Party - This Modern Love (Silent Alarm)
8. (25:23) Snow Patrol - Spitting Games (Final Straw)
9. (29:10) Spoon - Stay, Don't Go (Kill The Moonlight)
10. (32:42) Wheat - Don't I Hold You (Hope And Adams)
11. (36:30) Wilco - Say You Miss Me (Being There)
12. (40:38) Death Cab For Cutie - A Movie Script Ending (The Photo Album)

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Friday, June 22, 2007

Soundscape #41: "God Doesn't Want Me To Write, But I...I Must" — Franz Kafka


Franz Kafka, 1883—1924. New Jewish Cemetery,
Stranice, Prague. May 2007.


It is said that when Thomas Mann lent his friend, Albert Einstein, a copy of Kafka's works, it was returned to him with the following remarks "I cannot read this; the human mind is not complicated enough." Albert Camus phrased it in another way: "The whole of Kafka's art consists in compelling the reader to re-read him." Indeed there are so many levels at which one can read Kafka. You can read The Trial as an absurdist satire on the workings of law or you can read The Castle as a portrayal of the inefficacy of the beaurocracy. But no matter how hard you try to stay to the reading you've chosen, it would never stick; Kafka has a way of steering you through unchartered waters. As a friend puts it, his stories lead you into a labyrinth which then peters out and becomes indistinguishable from the real world, which of course is understandably disturbing.

But the beauty of Kafka, to me at least, is precisely because he unsettles you. Through his stories, you realise that not all roads should or have to lead to a destination; not all goals can be fulfilled and therein the beauty lies: for what will we do after we get what we want? It is the struggle that is the most important, even if, no, especially if, it's futile. There is hope only in an unfulfilled goal.

I went to Kafka's grave by myself in Prague and even though I had previously arranged for someone to bring me there, the deal fell through. So I asked for directions, found the station, figured out how to work the tickets and where the right platform is, I arrived at Zelivskeho only to find the station dead quiet with hardly anyone around. And stupid me realised at this point that my rubbish guidebook did not have the area mapped out at all. Noone I asked knew the slightest English. After half an hour, I decided to fuck it and walked right out of the exit (there were 3, I just picked the one in front of me with the most light flooding into the station). It was hot and bright and I asked the guy who was selling flowers where the cemetery is and it was just next to him (hence the flowers, duh). And the nice old man at the cemetery told me where to find Kafka's grave.

I think I must have sat at his grave for at least 2 hours; just sitting there and drinking hot tea (I brought a thermos!) and eating day-old bagel and a muffin. and smoking. copiously. Just sitting there and not thinking about anything. Just sitting there and listening to Beirut (and later bright eyes) and writing and smoking and sitting. I was getting eaten up by mosquitoes but still I sat there until I had to leave, and it's only because I realised I can't sit there forever, even if I had wanted to. And I was glad that the arrangement for someone to bring me here fell through cos there was no way I could have stayed there for 2 hours. And I've never been more glad to be alone.

One of the main reasons for my going to Prague was to visit Kafka's grave and just say hi. It was on my top 10 things to do before I die. Now that I've done it, whatever will I do next?



Playlist:
1. (0:00) Portishead - Mysterons (Dummy)
2. (5:05) Joanna Newsom - Colleen (Joanna Newsom And The Ys Street Band EP)
3. (11:47) Beirut - Mount Wroclai (Idle Days) (Gulag Orkestar)
4. (15:01) Elliott Smith - Bled White (XO)
5. (18:19) Jenny Lewis And The Watson Twins - Rise Up With Fists! (Rabbit Fur Coat)
6. (21:57) The National - Abel (Alligator)
7. (25:36) The Arcade Fire - The Well And The Lighthouse (Neon Bible)
8. (29:36) Iron And Wine/Calexico - He Lays In The Reins (In The Reins)
9. (33:16) Teenage Fanclub - Mellow Doubt (Grand Prix)
10. (36:04) The Cinematic Orchestra - To Build A Home (Ma Fleur)
11. (42:12) The Clientele - Isn't Life Strange (God Save The Clientele)
12. (46:00) Wheat - Be Brave (Hope And Adams)
13. (50:16) Mogwai - I Chose Horses (Mr Beast)

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Friday, June 15, 2007

Soundscape #40: "When A Man Is Tired Of London, He Is Tired Of Life"

Phone booths on some street, May 2007.


There is something inherently incredible about London. On the surface it's like every other big city on the planet: busy, overcrowded, indifferent, paranoid. People are always in a rush and it seems that everyone's only looking out for number 1. London's tube is a joke; The trains are old and rickety and there's no aircon in the carriages. I try to make it a point to go to the toilet before getting on the trains just in case of signal delays. And they happen often enough too. I'm always coming across service announcements and updates. Once, the train I was in actually bypassed a station because "it was too crowded." Similarly, the entire Northern line service was actually cancelled one sunday for "engineering works." I can imagine how people back at home would go apeshit at something like that but Londoners seem to take it in their stride.

People always talk about the dreariness of London but it didn't rain much the entire 8 days we were there. I was pretty disappointed. Everyone else was so grateful for the "pleasant" weather; the hotel staff were telling us that we brought the singapore sun with us...we didn't find that funny at all.

I like that people in London are polite to a fault (most are, anyways). They actually smile back when you smile at them and are probably not thinking that you are mad. People queue up to take the bus here (by the road, not an interchange) and there's a disturbing sense of order on the escalators: everyone stands to the right and let others pass them on the left. I like that it's relatively easy to just talk to a stranger on the tube or the bus. I like the free papers in the tube stations and how people will leave them in the trains for other people. I like how walking down Oxford/Bond street, I'd find 3 different branches of the same shop on the same street. It's crazy deja vu and as I've learnt the hard way, not a good landmark to find your way back!

I'm going to sound like a travel catalog if I don't stop; let's just say that the ludicrously expensive prices of everything in London—a can of coke light diet coke is about S$4.50 and you have to pay 60p (S$1.80!) to go to the toilet—are not going to stop me from going back a third time.



Playlist:
1. (0:00) Interpol - C'mere (Antics)
2. (3:10) Belle & Sebastian - Another Sunny Day (The Life Pursuit)
3. (7:14) The Clash - London Calling (London Calling)
4. (10:33) The Go! Team - The Power Is On! (Thunder, Lightning, Strike)
5. (13:47) Malajube - Ton Plat Favori (Tromp L'oeil)
6. (16:19) Spoon - The Way We Get By (Kill The Moonlight)
7. (19:00) Jason Collett - I'll Bring The Sun (Idols Of Exile)
8. (22:32) Of Montreal - My British Tour Diary (Satanic Panic In The Attic)
9. (24:40) White Stripes - Hotel Yorba (White Blood Cells)
10. (26:50) The Raveonettes - Heartbreak Stroll (Chain Gang Of Love)
11. (29:17) Badly Drawn Boy - Born In The U.K. (Born In The U.K.)
12. (31:54) The Mendoza Line - Will You Be Here Tomorrow? (Fortune)
13. (35:05) Yo La Tengo - My Little Corner Of The World (I Can Hear The Heart Beating As One)
14. (37:30) Gene - London, Can You Wait? (Olympian)

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Friday, June 08, 2007

Soundscape #39: Sometimes You Have To Walk Alone

May 2007. New Jewish Cemetery, Prague-Stranice.

There is an instinctual aversion to standing out in the collective unconsciousness of us humans, both physically and mentally. To stand out is to be alone and shunning from a fear of the unknown, we seek warmth and comfort in crowds, willingly giving up our individualities and be one with the majority. We are so used to it that a preference for solitude is likely to brand one as a loner or a social outcast. The one thing I realised from the trip is that there are some things one has to do alone; some feelings and experiences are just not meant to be shared.

I liked being alone with myself, with this side of me I rarely get to see at home; I never even knew it existed. It's a wonderful feeling to be walking around and on and on with no destination in mind but you know that you'd get somewhere. You don't have any expectations but you know you won't be disappointed even if you try.

I've never walked more in my life. Every morning after breakfast in Prague for example, I'd start walking from Point A to B. There is always public transport but the journey is sometimes more interesting than the destination itself. More often than not, I'd discover something more interesting en route; it's like a treasure hunt. If I don't have somewhere I want to be for that day, I'd pick a direction and just walk. It's magical to be walking in a foreign city and be held in wonder at everything. It's hard not to be treated like a tourist in Prague because I'm forever looking up at the gorgeous buildings and its sculptures of angels and saints and gargoyles and I'd be furiously clicking away. Besides, all the asians I see in Prague (there aren't many to begin with) are in tour groups and I'm conspicuously alone. And I got lost a lot. But even when I don't know where I am, I'd just walk along anyway (there was a tourist who approached me for directions and I'd never felt more honoured), fascinated by the new area I'm in, knowing that I'd just walk back the same way I came, so I don't really fit into the cliche of a lost tourist either.

I guess what I'm saying is although I am definitely not a resident here, I'm not strictly a tourist either. It's the in-between, the interstitial, and the feeling begins the moment you start to watch yourself just walking, a movie begins to play in your head of you just walking and the first chords of the soundtrack of your imaginary movie begin to fall into step with your own and it's so apt that you smile to yourself and someone across the street happened to be looking your way and smiled back.

But no matter how many times I replay these scenes in my head of the streets I've walked, the things I've seen and the people that I've met, I know that my eyes have seen more than my mind will ever remember and I feel nostalgic for the lost memories that I wouldn't even know I had.



Playlist:
1. (0:00) Bright Eyes - Old Soul Song (For The New World Order) (I'm Wide Awake It's Morning)
2. (4:30) Badly Drawn Boy - Magic In The Air (The Hour Of The Bewilderbeast)
3. (8:15) The Postal Service - The District Sleeps Alone Tonight (Give Up)
4. (12:58) Wilco - Walken (Sky Blue Sky)
5. (17:24) The Organ - Memorize The City (Grab That Gun)
6. (20:22) Teenage Fanclub - Don't Look Back (Grand Prix)
7. (24:04) The National - Fake Empire (Boxer)
8. (27:30) Josh Ritter - Here At The Right Time (The Animal Years)
9. (31:07) Cat Power - Lived In Bars (The Greatest)
10. (34:54) The Clientele - Step Into The Light (Strange Geometry)
11. (38:55) M. Ward - To Go Home (Post-War)
12. (42:45) Elliott Smith - A Fond Farewell (From A Basement On The Hill)
13. (46:44) The Mountain Goats - Get Lonely (Get Lonely)

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